The Matrix with 4 Questions
Where would you sort Compassion onto the matrix?
Inspired by Dennis Tirch and others, I’ve been working a lot with Compassion lately. So I got to wondering, “Where would folks sort ‘compassion’ onto the matrix?” So you might look at the diagram above and notice the four quadrants.
1. Lower right: Who and what are important to you?
2. Lower left: What shows up and gets in the way? (like fear)
3. Upper left: What behaviors do you do to move away from stuff like fear?
4. Upper right: What behaviors could you do to move toward who and what’s important to you?
So where might you put Compassion into that mix? It can go into more than one place.
There is no right (or wrong) answer; just sorting.
You can leave a reply below if you like.
Kevin
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I put compassion in my Lower right
Thanks! I hope others give sorting a try too!
Hi Kevin and all,
Considering compassion as an external behavior, I would put it in upper right part. Considering it as an internal state, it would go in the lower right part.
Thanks for providing opprtunity to express myself.
Claude
In my more flexible moments compassion shows up hovering in the middle where I am able to compassionately notice all of my moves and mental experience.
Thanks much for the sorting, Phil!
Interesting question… And bless Dennis and co 😉
When I do this in the abstract (“compassion in general”) I get stuck.
I need specific contexts.
To illustrate: there have been situations where I thought compassionate thoughts and emitted compassionate behaviors, mostly (not exclusively) in order to avoid feeling angry and especially to avoid the consequences of showing how angry I was…
An interesting question comes up now, when I “resort” that example is: was this “mostly away” behavior “helpful” for that other person (and being helpful is a direction I value), or rather “unhelpful”? Both, I’d say now.
Hmm the Matrix got me spinning, again! 😉
Maarten, thanks so much for “spinning.” Good stuff!
In my opinion I would put compassion as a point of view in the lower right corner. But when it comes to doing something in a compassionate way it belongs in the upper right corner. For example, if I read a book about compassionate behaviour and loved the idea to behave in such a way towards myself and others I would locate compassion as a valued way of behaviour in the lower right corner. Putting Compassion into action for example being gentle with oneself in a distressed moment would belong in the upper corner of the matrix.
Very cool!
Hi Kevin and all,
I think ,from my short experience, it would be in Lower right and Lower left. As you compassionate with the client in those two quadrants. What do you think?
Belal,
There is no right or wrong place to sort compassion, the main thing is to ‘back up’ and look at compassion, and then sort it. This is only a momentary sort; you might return later and choose a different sort.
Since both of your sorts are in the mental realm, that would indicate that when compassion shows up inside, then you might do an external behavior to move toward it (lower right to upper right) or you might do a behavior to move away from it (lower left to upper left). I can certainly ‘see’ where both of those scenarios are possible in many people.
Be well,
Kevin
Thanks Kevin. This is an interesting question. For me compassion is a value (lower right part of quadrant). I think of external behaviour as “observable behaviour” and one could possibly observe someone acting with compassion (compassionately). However this is open to subjective judgement and again fits into the Values quadrant. I’m still thinking though…..and am flexibly open to a different perspective.
Depending on the context:
1-I would put Compassion on the right lower quadrant (What is important to me) in the context of a value I want to move toward;
2-I would put Compassion on the right top quadrant (A move Toward) in the context of a move Toward my clients;
3-I would put Compassion on the left lower quadrant (What shows up inside of me that gets in the way) in the context of getting in the way of self-compassion when compassion for another takes precedence over and over again.
Very flexible, Fatima!
I would put compassion in all six areas of the hexiflex. In the present moment I am here, I am compassionate, my value is compassion, my thoughts are empathetic and kind, I am experiencing compassion towards my self and others in this moment as I move forward in my evolution of life.
“compassion” is a belief in the preferable, by definition a value and something to move toward. Of course it is, or can be something we have as it shows up in how we behave: what we do. What we have and do falls out of what we Be, what we as languaging beings create and are committed to. I like the distinction Be, Do, Have. Its kind of like your (Dr. Polk’s) self as content (have) process (do) and context (be).
I have also seen in all these responses how compassion can end up anywhere, and I did not mean to sound so preachy, but I really think but I just think our ability to create a context out of what we value and are committed to is so powerful and so present in the Matrix.
Norm, what a lovely response.